Hummus and CollagingI think it was John Cage who said, “Not knowing where to begin is a form of paralysis. Begin anywhere.” So that’s where we’ll begin.

I made hummus yesterday for the soul collage group (more on that another day) that comes over every other Sunday. I’ve been making this hummus in its current form for several years and don’t remember ever using any measuring tool for god knows how long. This might go a little like those grade school assignments where you had to write out a how -to manual for something useless using appropriate grammar. First, you gather your ingredients, Furthermore, you spread the peanut butter onto one piece of bread…..Finally, you eat your peanut butter and jelly sandwich, Yum!

With that fine primary education under my belt, here goes how-to hummus-

I like to use the larger 29oz. can of garbanzo beans/chick peas. You can buy them cheaply from Chicago’s finest: Harvestime foods on Lawrence, just west of Western. You can also use 2 smaller 16oz cans. This would cost you about 40 cents more than the big can and that’s just a sin. But I won’t judge; you’re already saving heaps by not buying the tiny preservative-ridden store bought containers at outrageous prices. Since they’re already soaked and need no cooking, open a small hole in the can and drain the water out. Then open it completely and dump them happily into the food processor. In no particular order, drizzle tahini paste (ground sesame seeds found in the Mediterranean aisle) into the processor. Then drizzle olive oil in there, too. I don’t know the difference between extra virgin and the unchaste stuff, so pour some slutty oil in there. Maybe two tablespoons? Pour in what feels right. I’m serious. Then take 2 or 3 cloves of garlic, and take off its skin. Throw them in there and let them get chopped up. Don’t be afraid of garlic! It’s great for the immune system and makes you feel alive in more pores then usual. Pour in about a quarter cup of lemon juice. You can always pour more as you go if it’s too stiff or dry.

This is where it gets really fun: Add these spices in whatever amount the spirit moves you to shake in there….cumin, coriander, paprika, salt. I like to make a dusting all around the surface of the mixture already sitting in the processor. Paprika is a good red color. Fresh parsley is the best but I rarely remember to pick it up at the store so I have stale Jewel brand parsley flakes sitting in the cupboard…possibly from two roommates ago. The parsley is purely for color quality now as I think plastic confetti has more flavor at this point. Shake that parsley in there very liberally, like you’d want to vote for Kucinich again. Or for you foodies (who are gagging reading this) get your damn fresh parsley and toss in the whole leaves and stems.

Now if you’re like me, you dropped your food processor from the top of the cabinets and the lid is cracked. So lock everything into place and cup your hand over the huge crack so hummus doesn’t take flight in your kitchen. Let her chop away until it is a creamy smooth paste. Because color counts, dust that paprika on your finished product and maybe drizzle more olive oil. Pretend you own a Lebanese restaurant as you cut tomato wedges and display them artistically around the perimeter of the bowl. Dip with crackers, pita, carrots, etc. If it’s lacking something, add more of one of the above ingredients in an intuitive, one-with-the-universe, manner.