March 2008


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An altar was created this evening in my home. If you don’t recognize these angelic faces, then you probably never went to Catholic school and you haven’t gotten the latest “Men” issue of BUST magazine, featuring Jermaine and Bret of Flight of the Conchords.

At this point I am going to partake in what I call “cyberdundancy.”

cyberdundance: the act of re-posting, regurgitating, or recycling Internet information in another Internet location.

So pardon my cyberdundant youtube link but I think we should all spread the Good News during this Easter time :

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X5hrUGFhsXo

Oh, it’s so good and so catchy. Watch them all.

And while I’m spending time in the adoration-sphere, let’s take a visit to Leslie Hall Land. You may be aware that I had the privilege of posing with the famous ‘cewebrity’ last month in front of the Polka-Dot car. After our photo shoot we totally high -fived.

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In true cyberdundance, I have just recently made a comment on her myspace page. Check it out before it gets buried under her other comments from fans.

The pictures are also on my flickr page…hmm, where else can I be cyberdundant?

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As requested, here’s how to make an envelope from a random or not so random piece of paper. At the end, you will also be able to make a re-moistenable glue recipe for sealing the envelope! This “not so secret trade-secret” was used in my greeting card set that is currently featured at jeanfitz.etsy.com.

First off, put your ruler away. Just some scrap paper, scissors and good ole school glue is all you need to start. Just as I dislike using measuring cups in such recipes like my intuitive hummus, I also dislike using rulers to make paper stuff. A lack of a ruler builds character.

1.) First, figure out what it is you want to envelop (Greeting card, folded letter, etc.) and have it on hand. You will use it to gauge the size of your envelope. Gauge, not measure!  2.) Now, figure out what you want the envelope to be made out of…your 2nd grade report card, your parking ticket, sheet music, or my personal favorite: old maps. Tear a magazine page or snatch that pretty wallpaper sample. It’s more pleasurable to open an envelope made out of a stronger/thicker paper then the item you’re enveloping so choose wisely.

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3.)Figure out which side is the prettiest or what you want to show on the outside and turn that face down. Place your card or item you’re choosing to envelop on top of the envelope sheet. Turn it at an angle so that all four corners are within the boundaries of your bottom sheet. It should be as centered as possible but don’t worry about perfection, that’s for those ruler toting folks. Ick! 4.) Now fold and crease each triangle corner up to the edges of your card. Yes, flush with the edge…almost as if it was, ahem, the ruler. Remove the card from inside and open your four flaps.

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5. This is the tricky part. Use scissors to cut out each corner where the flaps overlapped. (See picture. I’ve colored in black marker where you should cut.) The creases will also guide you. I like to cut a curved shape so it looks more envelope-y. Make sure you don’t cut past where the folds come to a corner. That is the corner of your envelope…unless, of course, you’re being artsy and want exposed corners. By all means, rebel.

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6. Then I figure out which flap is going to be the flap that opens and which 3 flaps will be sealed. I place a thin line of glue on the edges of the three bottom flaps that overlap. Don’t use too much glue and don’t glue your envelope shut! Sometimes I trim the pointed edges to center the flaps and make it look even. Just do what feels right. I also slide the card in to ensure my proper size is in tact and that I wasn’t folding, cutting and gluing for 3 minutes in vain.

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While this is drying, you can prepare another great recipe. Homemade re-moistenable glue! The stuff you lick to seal the deal! And we can make it taste good! You will need to have some Gelatin (I have the Knox brand) on hand (1/4oz), sugar (1tbsp), some water (1/4 cup), and maybe some food flavoring/essential oil (1tsp). The sweet basil I used is lick-tastic! I have no cognitive dissonance whatsoever about using gelatin- which is ground up cow hooves and other animal tissues- and still claiming my vegetarianism. Fact: I won’t eat flesh but I’ll lick cow feet. If there is a vegan re-moistenable glue you can make at home, please tell me!

I use the double boiler method to make my glue.

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To keep your leftover glue for next time, I mix all the above ingredients together in a margarine container or other disposable plastic.  Boil water in a pan big enough to let the container float inside.  Gelatin becomes solid quickly when it cools off so I take the whole pan over to my envelope workstation while it’s still warm and gooey. Mind the strange glue smell, just tell people it’s an art thing and they’ll nod silently and leave you alone. Re-heat your double boiler pan again if it hardens. Take a small paintbrush and apply the glue to the edge of the opened flap.  Voila!

Be sure to let everything dry thoroughly before stacking them up!

You only need to make a little batch of this stuff so don’t start boiling your water and then walk away like I do and check your blog stats and completely forget what it is you’re making and find an empty pan of steam 15 minutes later.

Happy Envelope Making! And if you put crazy flavoring in the glue, inform your licker…or not.

My friend, Jason, just sent me a picture of my 2008 Calendar that is apparently hanging on a wall in Africa. I don’t even know what country it, or my friend, is in.

p1000794.jpgWhile their is no proof that this was actually taken in Africa, I will take his word for it. I can imagine Nelson Mandela or a zebra or the Lion King opening that door at any moment and entering.

This calendar (still featured at my etsy shop) was made over the course of a few weeks in November of ‘07. Volunteers modeled in front of my polka dot car(whose creation is very-well documented from last spring on flickr) near different Chicago landmarks for each month of the year. Here are a few outtakes, snippets, etc. from the photoshoots:014_11a.jpg

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Yes, it was 20 degrees out.  Yes, this is how artists make a living. So, instead of reminiscing about 2008-almost 25% over with anyway-let’s think about the calendar for 2009, folks.

Readers,

I need you to send in your ideas for the 2009 Polka Dot Car Pin-Up Calendar! Do you want to model for the calendar? Do you have a costume?  A Chicago setting in mind? If you participate in the Calendar making, you will receive a complimentary 2009 Calendar. I’m open to themes at this stage of the planning so think outside the dots and comment directly to this blog!

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In the purging frenzy that originated from the clotheswap, I felt the need to rid myself of other things…such as the old college laptop-a cheeseburger of a laptop, says my friend-sitting in my closet. It was a hand-me-down from my sister in 2001.

Good ole, Windows 95!

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It even has a floppy disc drive!p1100070.jpg

After some shallow internet research, I have learned there is a drop off site in Chicago specifically for recycling your old computers and other hazardous items. I did, indeed, just say recycling and Chicago in the same sentence. I haven’t recycled it yet so maybe there is a nerd who wants to adopt this computer from me? They have strange hours:

The facility is located at 1150 N. North Branch Street, which is two blocks east of the Kennedy Expressway at Division Street. The facility is open for drop-offs on the following days:

  • Tuesday (7:00am – 12:00pm)
  • Thursday (2:00pm- 7:00pm)
  • The first Saturday of every month (8:00am – 3:00pm)

I am going to try and work around these strange hours and give a complete update on the recycling experience. Presently, a friend is helping transfer old files into my new computer via the internet connection that is still possible on this machine.

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¡Viva my Sophomore Art History essays!

Also, at a later date, I hope to interview my father about his KAYPRO 10 (a green screen!) that is still in use for his business. (Whadya say, Pop?) Anyone up for a little time travel to 1983? If it ain’t broke…

Today was the day of the Clotheswap. p1030051.jpgAmazing women from different corners of Chicago come together to trade wares. Allow me to give special thanks to all those who donated their stuff and their company to a fantastic afternoon. We, of course, had to make space in the apartment for the event, and later our closets. But, personally, I am currently concerned about making more space in my nose. Blasted cold! Let this Spring Cleaning usher in new breath in our living space and our nasal passages.

p1040059.jpgThe first week I heard about this thing, I called it the “nutty pot” but it is actually a patented shaped pot called the Netipot. I was willing to try anything last fall during allergy season, so my friend recommended this wacky hippy dippy thing….sent straight from God or Buddha or Taiwan or something. You pour a warm saltwater solution through one nostril over the sink while tipping your chin up and one ear to the ceiling. The patented shape of the spout creates a seal around one nostril and the angle of your head prevents the water from traveling down your throat. While holding this somewhat yogic pose, you wait for the funny-I got water up my nose-feeling, and then watch the water (and other items stuck up there) dribble out the other nostril. Gross? Maybe.  Here’s to clearing spaces in your life for new things to happen.